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Sapere aude - dare to be wise
Friday, September 19, 2003
Posted 11:40 AM by Kevin
I'm tired.

I'm tired, and by that I don't mean "sleepy" or "in a funk" or even (like some of my colleagues today) "really freaking hung over."

I'm just tired. The workload this week hasn't been abusive, but I've been pretty much reading every bit of law stuff I can get my hands on. It's doing wonders for my uptake of class materials, oh yes, but it has begun to take its toll on other things that used to be important to me (my personality, for example).

My wife this morning wistfully pined for our breakfast chats of yore (that's right, "yore") when we'd discuss politics, cuticle hygiene, or the book I'd read that she said she'd read but didn't and then when I asked her about it she lied and just said she thought it was a cruddy book so leave me alone dammit. Those were the days. We're very close, my wife and I. =}

These days, though... not so much. I'm used to her being bored with my pedantic lecturing, but I think I'm getting bored with it, and it shows. That isn't to say I'm bored with my classes. I find them incredibly engaging, and my classmates, too, are a neat collection of talents and personalities. My personality, however, I fear is ebbing away, displaced, perhaps by law stuff.

One of my philosophy professors once told me that one's personality is sort of like a cake that one holds out and offers to others. Over time, we begin to run out of cake, however, and we must bake a new one to replace it. Sometimes the new cake is much different from the old one, and sometimes not. In either case the time we spend making a new cake is difficult, since we are uncomfortable not having much cake to offer others in the interim.

Maybe I'm just busy making new cake, or maybe I need more sleep.

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