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Sapere aude - dare to be wise
Monday, September 22, 2003
Posted 5:27 PM by Joshua Claybourn
I was blessed to live with amazing guys during my undergraduate days. I stress "amazing" because although the letter I'm about to share comes from one of the guys who has yet to fully complete his coursework and is living at home, he's still brilliant, and that's evidenced in the wise advice he offers below. He sent this to me and another housemate who's currently a 1L at Harvard. I think you'll enjoy it.

Adam's Top Ten Tips for Motivation & Overcoming Legal Student Procrastination: To be posted prominently and followed dogmatically:

1. I was a big-time procrastinator. Now I live with my parents. For God's sake, man, don't repeat my mistakes!

2. Remember: However tough and boring some of this legal stuff may seem, you are unquestionably tougher and more boring. You can take it, no problem.

3. Stand on your head naked, and sing the national anthem. This will stimulate your brain and your patriotism (making it particularly appropriate for any constitutional law you may be studying). And airing everything out feels quite refreshing!

4. Send me $10. If that doesn't work, try sending me $20. If that doesn't work, try sending me $100. If that doesn't work, then you'll know the answer must lie elsewhere.

5. Try doing #3 publicly, and call into question the patriotism of anyone who asks what the hell you're doing. Then enjoy a long, sinister chuckle at your argumentative wiliness.

6. Make a work/reward pact with yourself - you'll treat yourself to, say, an ice cream sundae, or a nice cold one, but not until you get that work done, buster!

7. Try #6, and fail miserably. Realize your lack of self discipline and the need to engage in such trite acts of self-manipulation are entirely the fault of your parents for not instilling more work ethic in you. Resolve to sue their sorry asses for twice what they're worth; return to legal study so you can eventually sue them yourself, and save money.

8. Put a poster of Supreme Court Justice hotties Sandra Day O'Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg above your desk area. Hubba, hubba! Now, that's motivation!

9. Even if you really want to be an astronaut when you grow up, you should stick with law school - the other day I overheard my dad muttering something about "shooting all the lawyers into deep space!" All right!

10. Remember: Although being a student isn't all kegstands and 'tang, it's a hell of a lot better than being a working stiff.

So study, dammit!

By the way, I think you're onto something here:

> P.S. I'd settle for life as a cowboy or homemaker, as long as I can
> hire a maid.

If we could figure out a way to marry professional women, take on the homemaker role, then make enough money on the sly to hire a maid to do all the actual homemaking, we'd be SET. But how do we do it? Eating stuff neighborhood kids dare us to eat, for a dollar? Running a meth lab? Submitting cartoons freelance to the New Yorker? Donating sperm? To a sperm clinic?

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